homecoming

February 24, 2011 33 Comments by Maddie

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about home.

I’ll start by saying this: I’m not sure I’ve ever really had one. My (divorced) parents changed residences a few times between them; plus, I spent my pre-college years bouncing between their respective places. I still do, whenever I’m back in Illinois. Maybe as a result, I started to feel twitchy about this lack of stability—I was always anticipating the next upheaval.

College didn’t help much in the way of stability, since students are generally condemned to spending each year in a new, cramped dorm room. And, as I’ve mentioned here, I’ve spent the the past two post-grad years floundering around in some pretty bleak parts of the D.C. metro area. I looked at this experience with rose-colored glasses for a long time, until the situation deteriorated (hi, bedbugs!) and it just became clear that I needed more for myself. Until recently, I’d been filling my weekends with travel plans and cooking sprees, but I came to realize that even a full refrigerator wasn’t getting me any closer to the safe haven I craved. My constant desire to leave town didn’t help, either.

Because I deserve better than an infested apartment in stressed-out, suburban Northern Virginia. I just do. I deserve a safe place to sleep and, when I venture outside, inspiring surroundings. For that matter, so does everyone else.

In my gut, I know the best way for me to create this elusive haven is to return to Chicago. I guess I’ve alluded to this fact before, but let me make it clear: while there’s never been a dwelling I felt was mine, there’s always been a city. Every piece of imagery in Kanye West’s “Homecoming” feels like a slap of nostalgia to my face: the glistening skyline, the El tracks, the Art Deco skyscrapers, Millenium Park, the fireworks over Lake Michigan. I grew up just outside the city, and that stuff seeped into my bone marrow.

So this weekend, I’m driving home to Chicago, to begin something better. To make a home in the world. There is a strong chance that I will be blasting a lot of Diddy-Dirty Money on the car ride there; please don’t judge me for that. I just can’t help but smile when Puff Daddy/P. Diddy/Diddy/Sean says, “it’s time to make your house your home.” Word.

I’m going to begin finding my way back to A Little Ginger, too. I want to explore the concept of home, to share what it starts to mean for me in Chicago, and to talk about what it means to all of you. Settle in! It’s going to be a long ride.

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  • http://www.sweetamandine.com Jess

    Word! So happy to see you here, Maddie. Way to bust back in with a musical post! Happy trails to you. Looking forward to hearing more soon.

  • Kickpleat

    Aw, I loved this post (and I love Kanye, so I’m excited you posted the video!). I’ve found my home and it’s certainly not the place I grew up in – but in a way it’s where I really found myself. It took forever (or so it seemed when other people just kinda knew exactly who they were) – but I’m glad. And hooray for home and the good luck on the search. You never know where you’ll find it.

  • http://janaemonir.wordpress.com/ Janae

    So happy to hear from you!! Good luck to you on your move, and congrats for taking such a huge step; that takes guts! Home really is where you make it…

  • http://twitter.com/cravingworthy Stephanie Lamb

    My sentiments echo Jess’s…so happy to see you here again. And just so you know, I would never, ever judge you for the Diddy-blasting.

    Can’t wait to hear more about what home means to you. Have a safe and happy drive home!

  • Delishhh

    So much fun to see you back. I hope your trip back to Chicago is good and you get everything you want. Look forward to reading about your journey.

  • http://www.alittleginger.com Maddie

    Fist pump! Thanks, Jess; I’ll see you on the other side.

  • http://www.alittleginger.com Maddie

    Stephanie! Thanks for the lack of judgment re: my music selections.
    And I’d love to hear what’s on your road trip playlist sometime…I
    promise I wouldn’t judge, either. :)

  • http://www.alittleginger.com Maddie

    So happy to hear from YOU, Janae! I’ve come to think that the only
    decisions worth making involve some uncertainty and risk…so I guess
    I’m putting my money where my mouth is. :) Looking forward to being on here more soon, since that’ll mean chatting with you again.

  • http://www.alittleginger.com Maddie

    It might be scarier to find your place in a totally new-to-you city,
    but how cool to be an adventurer in that regard…staking your claim
    in place that you actively chose, not just the place you happened to
    be born. Very cool, Jeannette!

  • http://www.alittleginger.com Maddie

    Virtuals hugs to you, Ewa. Can’t wait to start chatting with you again!

  • shanna

    Wahoo! Here’s to Chicago and new cities and new beginnings and HOME. Can’t wait to hear about the journey and, virtually, to be taking it with you.

  • http://www.alittleginger.com Maddie

    Right back atcha with regards to Nashville, Shanna. I’m equally excited to hear about all your discoveries there…from everything I know, it’s a damn fine city. Cheers to both of us!

  • Jacqui

    Welcome home, Maddie. It’s cold here, but the people make it warmer. And the pizza. :)

  • http://www.alittleginger.com Maddie

    Oh, deep-dish pizza, how do I love you? Let me count the ways…

  • Maggie Rose

    Hey Maddie,

    I’ve so been enjoying your comments on my blog and wanted to come by here and say hello. I love that you posted this – only since moving to Seattle (from only 40 miles away) have I felt for the first time like I’m “home” when I arrive. Even though my parents still live in the same house I grew up in, it feels like their home now – I love driving up the interstate, rounding a corner to the first glimpse of the city! My neighborhood and the whole city gives me the warm fuzzies (so to speak) and I hope that you’re able to reclaim that feeling in Chicago! My sister lives in Chicago and I know she feels the same way about it – it’s “home” for her now too.

    xo Maggie

  • http://www.alittleginger.com Maddie

    Fist pump! Thanks, Jess; I’ll see you on the other side.

  • http://www.alittleginger.com Maddie

    It might be scarier to find your place in a totally new-to-you city,
    but how cool to be an adventurer in that regard…staking your claim
    in place that you actively chose, not just the place you happened to
    be born. Very cool, Jeannette!

  • http://www.alittleginger.com Maddie

    So happy to hear from YOU, Janae! I’ve come to think that the only
    decisions worth making involve some uncertainty and risk…so I guess
    I’m putting my money where my mouth is. :) Looking forward to being
    on here more soon, since that’ll mean chatting with you again.

  • http://www.alittleginger.com Maddie

    Stephanie! Thanks for the lack of judgment re: my music selections.
    And I’d love to hear what’s on your road trip playlist sometime…I
    promise I wouldn’t judge, either. :)

  • http://www.alittleginger.com Maddie

    Virtuals hugs to you, Ewa. Can’t wait to start chatting with you again!

  • http://www.alittleginger.com Maddie

    It’s really nice to see your face around here, Maggie! I love that anecdote and am so looking forward to having similar feelings someday soon…real soon, hopefully.

    Will wave to your sister tonight as I pull into town! :)

  • http://onafarm.blogspot.com/ Melinda

    Risk and uncertainty – I wouldn’t have my biggest blessings (namely, job and boyfriend) without those two things. Good for you for taking the plunge! We’ll be staying tuned…..

  • http://twitter.com/sanurajamila MyLifeRunsOnFood.com

    After undergrad, I worked in Chicago for a year, and it is a beautiful city. Afterwards, I unhappily returned home for two years. Ironically, during that time period, my health became a priority, and I was fortunate to be close to my family. When that time period was over, I was looking at grad schools in New York. Chicago and my home were great requisites to where I am now.

  • http://www.alittleginger.com Maddie

    It makes me happy to hear that, Melinda. Good for you! And I’ll be keeping you posted.

  • http://www.alittleginger.com Maddie

    It’s good to have family around when you need them most—as it sounds like you did! Thanks for the extra vote of confidence on Chicago, too. :)

  • http://emmainthekitchen.blogspot.com/ Emma

    So glad you’re back! Lovely post and so so true. I spent years renting, waiting for my life to start then suddenly realised this is it, time to put down some roots. Doesn’t stop me thinking I want to relocate back to my home state one day but for now, where I am is home.

    Have a safe trip home won’t you!

    :)

  • Dana

    I hope your move has you finding the home you yearn for. For a long time before this house I felt like I didn’t have a home per se. I had a place where I lived, but it wasn’t home. It feels very good to come back from a long day and feel home, I hope you find it quickly.
    It will be nice to see you around the blogging world too!

  • http://onafarm.blogspot.com/ Melinda

    Maddie you’ll never believe it, but I came to your site because I knew you had a link to ‘Coming Home’ on here and just HAD to listen to it. (You know how that goes.) 30 minutes and 3 repeats later, Andrei and I both singing it and catching ourselves, giggling.

    Thanks for the great evening!

  • http://www.alittleginger.com Maddie

    This made me belly-laugh, Melinda. I totally know how that goes! So glad I could help provide some joy to you guys, via Sean Combs of course. :)

  • http://www.alittleginger.com Maddie

    Thanks, Emma! We’re safely in Chicago now, so YAY.

    I’m glad you were able to find roots as a renter…sometimes the cult of homeownership makes it seem like that’s impossible, but really—why the heck not? I like the way you think.

  • http://www.alittleginger.com Maddie

    Dana, I’ve enjoyed hearing about your new home, and it’s nice to hear that you’ve settled in to the right place even after some trial and error. Here’s to following your example!

  • http://www.cipolli.blogspot.com antonietta

    yay! So glad your back! Can’t wait to hear about chicago!

  • http://www.alittleginger.com Maddie

    Thanks, Antonietta! I’m in the ‘burbs at the moment, but stay tuned for city adventures…